Embrace the crazy!

There comes a time when you eventually just accept the inevitable. Everyone has a family dynamic that is different to the next family, granted some a smidge more coocoo than others but what fun would it be if everyone had a "Stepford" family?!
Pre-marriage and babies the mental image of how you expect your family to be is usually along the lines of a walk in the park on a sunny day child up on Daddy's shoulders while eating ice cream and all children smiling and behaving nicely, or checking on your little darlings at night and they are sleeping soundly with a little night light beside their bed after you reading a story or even better they read to themselves (which may happen once in a blue moon by the way). Never do you imagine that actually your child will DETEST the park as there are far too many people and over stimulating things there and he is lactose intolerant, nowhere in Ireland will you find that dairy free ice cream is readily available at a park. Because of this your little darling is very upset and not such good behavior ensues. Never do you picture your child not having the ability to go to sleep naturally and having to be dosed with a Melatonin supplement most nights and having to follow a strict routine for bedtime that if you miss a step world war three breaks out in their bedroom. If you are consistent things will improve eventually but it takes a while to get your own head around the whole routine.
Having a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder can affect every aspect of family life and the majority of people have a very brief understanding of autism. There are so many highs and lows for everyone in the family. To be honest unless a person is living with an ASD in their immediate family, I don't believe they can ever understand it enough. For younger children on the spectrum their siblings can be terrified of those eardrum shattering episodes at bath time or meal times. For example putting the wrong episode on of "Looney Toons" or "Tom and Jerry" (flavour of the month right now) can cause absolute uproar or attempting to put school coat and hat on before the school bus arrives, will only sleep with a particular pillow case. Everything is so specific you really need to pay attention to the little things. This is why I can only get certain people to babysit otherwise the poor person babysitting may be found rocking back and forth in a corner by the time we return all because the did not use the right cup for his orange juice.

 *One tip for meltdowns people, just let them happen! Do not try to comfort the child with autism with hugs and telling them its O.K, unless they come to you for a hug, that is on their terms. Sit beside them, let them know you are there but do not intervene unless for safety reasons obviously! They have their own coping mechanisms. Leave the room if you can't cope you will only make it worse for them! Click here for an insight into how a meltdown feels for someone with an ASD.

It is funny how in sync my boys are together. Eldest has an ASD and the youngest boy is your typical three year old. He knows no different than to accept the tantrums and can tell me the antecedent sometimes before I have realised what set his brother off! Yes he is three and wise beyond his years. I believe because he has an older brother on the spectrum he is more compassionate and understanding and really wants his brother to succeed. He looks up to his older bro. He sits in to listen every time his brother is doing flash cards and reading homework and this has meant his vocabulary is quite advanced for his age and he is well able to communicate his needs to anyone who will listen. He can also act as a spokesperson for his brother which is kind of amusing right now because he is half his size! I have one child who is painfully shy and another who steals the whole show which obviously leads to a very interesting dynamic and a never a dull moment type of atmosphere in our house.

Both boys are equally brilliant in different kinds of intelligence. Eldest (ASD) fan-friggin-tastic problem solver, reading, numbers, surprisingly high emotional intelligence (not exactly a trait of a person with  ASD) such a great sense of humour too, an introvert prefers to be alone or with a small well known group of people, enjoys his brother or anyone but him in the limelight. Youngest (NT) is everyone's  friend and everyone wants to be his friend so sociable craves social interaction, very bright re letters, numbers, able to adapt to most situations, stick up for himself and his brother and sister, an extrovert. He embraces the crazy, he does not brand his brothers behaviour as bold, he accepts him even though he drives him do-lally sometimes but who's brother does not do that?! I just wanted to share how proud I am of them and they cope better then us parents do some days. How lucky is their baby sister to have these two to look out for her?! 

"If evolution really works how come mothers only have two hands?" milton Berle

So it has been one hectic year and it is about time I updated this blog before I lose track of all our progress we've made this year! We have two new additions to our family since my last post in May. First to arrive was our gorgeous Golden Retriever puppy Toby, and second to enter our lives is my beautiful baby girl who we are absolutely besotted with beyond all expectation, I mean I knew I would be in love with her from the moment I felt her first kicks in my belly but my god baby love on a whole other level. I guess because she was such an amazing surprise for us this year. First of all total surprise of being pregnant again and secondly I was so convinced I was having another boy. The anomaly scan at 22 weeks didn't convince me in the slightest despite the doctor telling me she was a girl, I was terrified that I'd get my hopes up for the splash of pink through out my house. I adore my boys and a baby girl just completes the brood, it really feels like we have achieved the perfect balance now. Feel very blessed right now by our little family!

This past summer had been relentless to put it mildly! Not to be dramatic or anything but I feel like I was physically and mentally pushed just within my limits. Looking back I don't think I would have taken on so much at the one time. I did not have a bad pregnancy however I did have a very emotional one. I think I may have cried myself a small river, at the time there was a new unwelcome killjoy tenant in my house "Captain Hormone" (as my Husband likes to call me on such occasions). It took a friend to actually point out all that I had going on was so stressful. After all, we had an attention seeking two year old, a very active 5 year old with autism who seemed to be awake 22 hours of the day and a new mischievous puppy with boundless energy and a very hormonal, sleep deprived pregnant mother stuck at home in groundhog day mode.
We decided one day before Diddles finished school that we would get a puppy. Diddles absolutely LOVES animals and we knew we would eventually get a dog. In fact we have had our names down on waiting lists for an assistance dog for over two years at this point. It was probably too impulsive and a decision based on cute pictures and hormones but I don't regret it because now we have our beautiful Toby. Who we are now training to be Diddles assistance dog thanks to a new Irish charity called My Canine Companion. I found it through an Autism Mommy friend on Facebook and it was the perfect timing considering we had such an instinctive decision to buy Toby. This picture was the first day he got his vest he was about 13 weeks old and we were able to start "Puppy walking" him. Which basically means we brought him everywhere, shops, cafes, restaurants, relatives homes etc. and let him become accustomed to all noises and smells. He has the ideal temperament, very friendly, loves the kids and quite easy to teach so for all these pro's I forgive him for being so hairy, making me hoover several times a day. We would be lost without him now, himself and the boys are great friends.
I have Diddles in the habit of giving him his first feed of the day before he goes to school. He is quite tuned into Toby in a weird way, he looks out for him, he wont let Toby chew on anything he shouldn't be, he initiates a game of chasing with him, Diddles worries about him if he runs too far during a free run. I really love that Diddles is involved in his training, it teaches him so much, Compassion, responsibility, he is more aware of his own safety and others around him as he is more focused! I am not trying to sell it, I am merely noting the differences Toby has made in Diddles life.

Our little Princess or as Madman called her baby five is now 4 months old and thriving, sleeps all night smiles most of the day by far the angel of the house at the moment however I am under no illusions that at some stage she will make up for it. Right now we are enjoying every "goo" and "gaa" out of her. She is certainly letting us know she has a voice! That's my girl make your voice heard among the madness. She gets that from her Mammy ('',)
How lucky is she to have two big bro's looking out for her! Madman did not bat an eyelid at the fact that he was not the baby of the house anymore. We were expecting curly headed green eyed monster to emerge, however pleasantly surprised that he really enjoys the big brother role. He loves to boss people about and therefore fits the role perfectly. Not a day goes by that I don't think Madman was meant for the stage, never fails to make you laugh especially in the most serious situations you just can not give out to him without fighting a smile! Butter wouldn't melt as they say. This kid is going places mark my words!


 As stressful as I found it last summer the outcome was so worth it because my son (aside from his siblings) made his first friend and also my baby girl made it here safe and sound. I am a firm believer in the saying "you have to work hard for anything worth having in this life".

Chalk and Cheese

It has been brought to my attention quite a bit lately by family and friends how very different the boys are personality-wise. Diddles was so placid as a toddler compared to our mischievous Madman.

Madman finds humour in doing the Dare Devil thing. Doing everything he is not supposed to. As cute as a fox and the Artful Dodger of the two! If it can be done he'll do it and if it can't he'll still give it a go.

For example and to name but a few he has cart-wheeled out of his cot head first (just for the sheer fun of it), is afraid of neither man nor beast. I caught him trying to feed his uncles rottweiler through a gate once at a kids birthday party. Yes, forget the giant bouncy castle and the cake there is a giant toothed animal to play with instead.

Aside from the obvious autie traits Diddles personality is really starting to shine! It is so great to see his sense of humour sparkle. This afternoon I was calling him for his lunch, usually he hears the mention of food and there is a Diddles shaped hole in the wall that he has run through to get to the kitchen table.

However, this particular time I got no response so I called him again. Still no sign of him. I walked into the hall thinking maybe he made a run for it but the hall door was locked. My heart started to race a bit so I kept calling him ..no answer. Then I heard a little giggle, I looked down to find this little eye looking at me, peeking out from behind a coat that was hanging on the bannister. He was playing with me. The big playful, cheeky grin on him. This is new for him, I have caught him lately looking at me as if to say "you big eejit mammy" if I call his name but I mean to call madman. He has the same cheeky glint in his eyes when he is doing something he knows he shouldn't. Like grabbing a biscuit without asking just before his Daddy gets the chance to eat it. He also seems to really understand some of the humour in certain TV programmes. I have caught him laughing at jokes which would be kind of complicated. It goes to show you should never under-estimate him!

Madman @ 17 months

Diddles @ 12 months

I love to hear him laugh! It is so contagious!

I do think looks-wise they are the absolute spit of one another! Anyone agree?

Demolition men

I am usually abruptly awakened each morning. Around 6:45 (ish) with a thump of a baby bottle in the head which has been hurled from the cot followed by Diddles hopping into the bed beside me saying "Good morning" on repeat until I say "Good morning", and I realise I was dreaming and I am not in the jungle eating "daddy long legs". This time of morning is despite numerous encounters through the night of pacing the landing back and forth to Diddles room. Needless to say there is no room for a snooze button in our house! As much as you would like them to the little darlings are not going to wait for you to wake up. It is almost like someone shouting "GO!!" without giving you a "Ready, Steady" first.

I have recently been introduced to visual aids for dressing, toileting, teeth brushing etc. I have been introducing them to Diddles and he gets the concept but if he does not like the routine it is almost impossible to get him to do it. For example brushing his teeth. He used to be fine with this and now every single morning guaranteed if he catches sight of  a tooth brush he will bolt out of the room and hide. We think this might be a sensory issue with him. Someone has suggested an electric toothbrush so I am going to try this and pray that it works. The wrestling match every morning is getting old now!
So far visuals have reduced the morning meltdowns. I have actually found myself with extra time in the mornings before Diddles is picked up for school. I am definitely a fan! Why did I not know about these sooner??!!

When Diddles is in school I still have demolition man numero dos!
My poor house! Will it ever be safe from my own little Demolition men? I can literally hear the sigh of relief through the house as they finally drift off to sleep at night! Or that could be the neighbours!!

Madman as we like to call him lately seems to have hit the terrible twos' at 18 months! He leaves a trail of destruction behind him where ever he goes. His most recent venture was pulling the first two rows of buttons off my laptop. I stepped out of the room to put something in the dishwasher returned to find him waving at me sweet as pie smile on his face "Hi Mammy" he says. While standing over his art work.

Thank god for paint testers they sell in D.I.Y stores because the artwork is starting to take over! I found lovely luminous pink highlighter pen like train tracks up my hall. It was at two different heights on the wall. The little angels are in this together! They are tag teaming me!

I also found another masterpiece on my kitchen wall and one behind the curtains in my bed room.

The gas thing is they are never out of my sight and yet they manage to do this?! Little masterminds in the making!!

All hallows in Autieland!

Halloween has always been my favourite time of year. Ever since I was a little whippersnapper I thought the night was magic. I loved dressing up and hearing ghost stories and playing games. Are you afraid of the dark? was probably the TV show that kick started my interest in horror/fantasy as well as the Goosebump books by R.L Stine. As I got older I loved horror films right up until I became a Mammy and now I am the definitive Wuss! I have this aversion now to the films I used to really enjoy. I loved to sit in and watch Nightmare on Elm street or the Amityville Horror or the Shining but not now I would be hiding behind the couch or sleeping with the lights on for a week! I know how strange it sounds but it is true, I have to really hype myself up by telling myself it is not real, they are just actors and that is just ketchup! Then someone says it is a true story and que the sleepless nights.

It is funny how your perception changes. Now it is all about showing the kids the magic. You really have to approach Halloween with caution when it comes to kids on the spectrum. Some of them are terrified by masks that other kids wear. They do not always grasp the concept of dressing up and the whole thing can be very confusing and frightening. I know with Diddles there is no way he would wear a mask probably because of the echo he would hear with it on or the feel of it against his skin. We really had to work him up to wear the costume this year. Barry had to play flying games and let him bounce around the place a bit before the costume could go near him! He was Buzz Lightyear and Madman was a crocadile. We had them all dressed up and kids started calling to the door. They then were disgusted because we were giving these strange little monster kids all of their sweets. So we had to get a move on before they might have taken the sweets back from some childs trick or treat bag. We gave them their own little loot bags and ventured out to visit our neighbours in the hope that Diddles would enjoy it and not become anxious with the variety of costumes on the other kids or the echo of fireworks. He was grand, both of them were delighted with themselves. They got the idea after two houses. Ring the bell, wait and get sweets. Not really surprising they became pro trick or treaters after 10 minutes or so. The only thing missing was that neither of them were saying trick or treat. Diddles if he said anything at all was saying "trick or tea" and Madman just kept saying "Cheeeeese" as if posing for a photo! Still they did well! It was a good night for them.

You learn something new everyday!

Since I have finished up work I have been attempting the domestic goddess role. This gluten free dairy free food is bloody expensive so I have been looking up recipes in an attempt to save a little on the shopping list.

I have mastered pizza bases and bread which is seriously an accomplishment for someone who was not totally sure about boiling an egg a year ago. Honestly ask me about any gadget be it ipod, laptop or fixing an internet connection great but ask me how to cook a meal from scratch and you would get recipe for disaster. Instead of home economics in school I took Technology.

 I'm not bad now but I still have the odd (giant) hiccup aka Blonde moment.

 For example a few weeks ago I was attempting to make chocolate muffins for Lukes lunch for the week. I found the recipe on a gluten free dairy free website. Thought I was following it to a tee. Until I checked on them 10 minutes after putting the baking tray in the oven and I square to bob my oven was covered in this brown ooze. It was on the top, on the sides and the bottom and expanding by the nano second. I had no clue what I had done wrong. The other half came in to see what I was giving out about and started breaking his heart laughing at me. I read the recipe twice over again until I realised I had used BREAD SODA instead of Baking powder. If you ever want to make inedible chocolate ooze I'm your woman!!

Aside from the hysterics of my Kitchen, I have been spending the rest of my time trying to find new games to get Diddles talking. What I love about these games is Madman can join in. They are both learning to take turns and learning a multitude of new words. We have moved on from the Balloon game which I had mentioned in an earlier post, we do return to this about once a week to mix up the routine. However right now we are playing the blanket game. We took down one of the kids duvet covers and lay it out on the floor. Both of the boys jump on it and then we decide that Madman takes the first turn. (He seems to be the most impatient at the tender age of 17 months) He lies in the middle of the Duvet, I grab one end and Barry will grab the other end. We say "ready steady go!" or "on your marks get set go!" or "3,2,1 Blastoff" mix it up every time so we use as much language as possible. Then we swing the duvet from side to side (narrating the whole time everything we are doing). Next we ask "want to go fast or slow?" Now, for Madman he just says GO! but he is taking in everything and loving the game.  Diddles will obviously want to go fast and this is why we give him "fast" as the first option as a big percentage of the language you will hear from Diddles is immediate Echolalia i.e he echos the words you say directly back to you but does not necessarily understand what you have said.

To test his understanding you give him what he asks for and not what you know he wants. This is so he realises the actual meaning of words.It is a long process but he is beginning to get the gist. He watches the game with Madans turn once to be sure its safe and then he gets the confidence to try himself . In some way Madman is his guinea pig. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing yet but its all trial and error!

They remind me of coyote and roadrunner at the moment. Diddles being the roadrunner and Madman being Coyote. Diddles runs back and forth for his usual sensory stimulation and Madman thinks this is a game and follows him back and forth. Madman bless his cotton little socks is just never fast enough to catch Diddles. He thinks his big brother is the king of chasing. They seem to have simultaneus bruises lately, both running and one will fall and then the other. Brotherly love ay!

The games have brought out some spontaneous speech with Diddles. He wakes me up in the morning with "Good Morning", he says "I want some juice please" instead of "Juice please"and Madman is copying everything he's really trying his best. We're making progress slowly but surely! They never cease to amaze me!

From the minute we met.....

My understanding of the word Autism is having to interpret the world around us in a different way.
Taking away basic ability to speak, understand, and feel certain things. I imagine the frustration to not be able to just communicate with your own mother. The simplest of things is the hardest task. Instead of asking as the average child would for a drink or a biscuit you have to point and pull people toward what you want in order for them to understand you. The birds singing are more distracting than someone calling your name.






I am 23 and at this tender age, many of my elders render me still a child. However my very existence on this earth would contradict them. I became a mother to my beautiful baby boy on the eleventh of January 2006. He was eleven days over due but worth the wait. Needless to say but at the age of nineteen my life was completely changed. My Fiancee and I were solely responsible for this tiny bundle we brought home from the Coombe on that freezing January day. Despite the exhaustion of bringing him in to this world I remember every second like it was yesterday.

I remember waiting so impatiently for the paediatrician to come to my bed on the ward to check (Diddles) was ok to bring home. He was eight lbs on the button and healthy as a little horse. The night before fifteen members of my family were standing around my bed at visiting time, I have no idea how they got past the security, it was only supposed to be maximum two visitors at a time. That’s my family for you , they come in their masses rain, hail or snow.

I will never forget bringing him down to the car in his carry tot. He looked so lost in the all in one fleece lined coat. My Fiancee (at the time Husband now) drove at a sensitive speed of around 20 km p/h all the way home. Ignoring the angry traffic behind him and his only interest was to get us both home safely.






I think of my poor mother scrubbing the house from top to bottom for the new arrival. I walked in the door and the house was gleaming. She stood there with tears in her eyes and wore a huge smile as she stood in the sitting room. Nanna was probably not a name she was expecting to be called so soon but as soon as she seen him she was the proudest Nanna around. She wrapped him in a blanket and sat by the fire and sent me to bed to get my rest. I must have looked exhausted because the first word she said to me was BED!






As for the other half well he drove into the Jervis centre and got Diddles his first football kit printed with his name and everything. Proud as punch to have a son of his own.

Diddles sailed through all of the milestones, first the goo-ing and gaa-ing , then sitting up and crawling and then walking by ten months. Everyone always comments on his gorgeous huge blue eyes and blonde curls. Although he hadn’t a single visible hair till he was almost two years old. His first words were “Mama” and “Dadda” then the rest began to follow nanna, grandad, soo soo, boppy all the usual baby babble. When he turned two something seemed to change and I still have trouble trying to figure out and pinpoint when or what happened but the speech seemed to slow and he seemed to not understand words he used to understand.






People started to notice that when they called his name he was barely aware and just went on playing or looking out the window at the airplane in the sky or the dog across the road.
At the time I never thought that much of it, I thought maybe he was just shy or was not interested in conversing with people he had not seen in a month. There was always something that made me doubt anything was wrong, he is the happiest child. Loving, affectionate, never makes strange.
It was one of my aunt’s that pointed out that a child she was minding the same age as Diddles had been speaking in small sentences and understood simple words that Diddles could not seem to grasp.
He was always engrossed in playing with his trains and cars and lining them up on a table or window sill, he would close one eye and squint the other while rolling the lined up toys past his eye.

This did not seem particularly strange at first but then he started to do this with everything.
He would line up pegs, DVD boxes , lego, you name it he would line it up.
When Diddles was two and a half Myself and his Dad got married. We were together five years at that stage. We were young and we did get a few funny looks when we told people we were getting married but we did not care. We both knew exactly what we wanted. Family life is really important to both of us
It was around this time that Diddles' sleeping patterns were almost impossible to cope with. He did not sleep at all during the day and yet he could lye awake laughing hysterically for sometimes hours, He was just never tired. This was the point that I realised something was seriously not right. One night it was about 3 in the morning and I could hear him stand up in the cot and laughing. My blood ran cold it was pitch black, no lights on in the room and when I turned on the light he did not even seem to notice, he continued to point to the corner of our bedroom and laugh. It was more the fact that it seemed like he was looking past the wall in our bedroom that frightened me.
 Then all of a sudden he developed the habit of running up and down the hall back and forth repeatedly for long periods of time. I would have loved to know what was so funny! At this point I was getting on edge about the whole thing, but every time I mentioned these little habits he had I was told he was just burning off energy or he'd probably had too much sugar or some other excuse.

Diddles went for his check up when he turned three, we had an idea something was not right but like any parent you want to think your child is perfectly healthy. It was always a phase he was going through. Like trying to potty train him. I tried when he was two and a half, he was having none of it. I tried again when he turned three still not a hope that he had even the slightest bit of interest. When I asked other parents how they trained they children they always responded with boys are so much more difficult to train than girls.

The nurse had asked him what his name was and he wouldnt respond, she asked him to point to the cat in her book and he was not at all interested. He just went around the room on his own agenda babbling away to himself in his own little language.
This was when I looked into speech therapy, i still had no idea at this point it was anything other than speech delay!!

I spent a few days looking up information about speech delay and local speech therapists, I emailed a few and one got back to me living close to my mam. She came out for an interview type session with myself and Diddles the week after his 3rd birthday. At that time baby number two was on the way.

The therapist observed Diddles in the living room, How he played and sung his songs to himself. He didnt have much eye contact with me at this stage so needless to say he barely seemed like he noticed we were in the room with him.

I informed her of his little habits, interests and daily routines. She didnt really give me much feedback other than to say he needed speech therapy and she would begin with the Hanen Method. Which to sum up meant to get down to eye level when speaking to him, Label everything, to use simple short sentances to help him understand. These were things I had been doing myself with him already and I had not seen much result from it but she told me to persist.

I knew he loved music and singing so I made him some CD's of nursery rhymes for our car journeys as I knew it was the only place he would not be able to run away or get distracted. This worked brilliantly he remembered every word to some of the songs after only hearing them twice. He recited his ABC's not perfectly spoken but I could understand him. He recited numbers one to fifteen. He knew his animal noises. I was so excited that this had worked and was wondering what the next step was...





The next visit with the speech therapist I told her the progress he'd made since her last session. She then advised me that this symptom was called Echolalia (repeating words or phrases in place of normal language). My heart sunk, while it was great he could repeat the words and songs it did not by any means solve the problem. He had to understand the meaning of what he was saying. She did activities like blowing bubbles and playing with blocks and shapes and colour matching. Slowly but surely he began to sit for longer periods of time but still no longer than 5 minutes or so.
By the time I reached about 8 months pregnant I was finding it so difficult to manage him, alongside the breathlessness and hormonal outburst pregnant women do experience, I found myself constantly angry and stressed out and absolutely exhausted. Working 9-5 on a 5 day week driving to work and spending hours sitting in the car in traffic and then getting home doing speech therapy, playtime, bedtime and potty training I genuinely dont know how my head didnt explode. Not to mention his staying awake for hours giggling inappropriately. I left work for maternity leave three weeks early. I was exhausted!!  And a new baby almost ready to arrive. At that point my social life had shrunk to zero dont think I actually spoke to anyone outside the people that happen to cross my daily routine.

One particular session the week before I was due the speech therapist mentioned the word Autism to me. I had no idea what to expect from this. She told me of another child she was doing speech therapy for that was autistic.
She explained some of the symptoms which to me sounded an awful lot like habits many  regular kids would have. She warned me "what ever you do don't look it up on the internet!" Well that was like walking a tight-rope and not looking down! 
As soon as she left I googled and googled and googled some more!!I educated myself in all things Autism. It was very scary but I was so thirsty for information, something was not right with my baby boy and I wanted to fix it.
I knew pretty much straight away what was in store for our family. The penny had dropped, now I had to deal with it. I tried speaking to my other half about it but he was having none of it. He wanted a professionals opinion and that was that. It didn't matter what I said or thought or how much evidence was there nobody wanted to believe it. I was devastated and nobody believed me. I have never felt so alone in my life as I did at that moment. It was like everyone thought I was jumping to conclusions, Like I walked into a room of my closest family and friends and started choking and people were just telling me to shush. I had argument after argument at night with my husband. I could understand his point, I wasn't a professional and had no experience with Autism or anything like it for that matter, but a mother knows!! and if he had of admitted it back then HE knew just as well as I did.
Baby no.2 arrived on the 21st May 2009 @ 8.06am. 7lb 8oz and gorgeous.

All the stress was forgotten about from the previous 3 months. I was in love all over again. Madman saved me from a scary place I was heading. My little superhero. Diddles immediately was amazed by Madman. He started following simple instructions like "get the bottle" and "put this in the bin please." His language doubled and his understanding improved immensely! At that point I had spent at least two full straight hours a day doing flash cards and imaginary play, that was if Madmans feeding and sleeping times were working in our favour. I got into the frame of mind as to stop thinking about it and just do it. I didnt give myself time to think about it. I was bridesmaid for my Mam in the August so we all were kept busy running around with preparations for the Wedding. I was not due back to work until November so every minute was planned.





When september came we decided to send Diddles to a playschool to see how he would cope with the teachers directions and to put him in a social situation with kids his own age.
He loved the fact that his routine had become fun, he got to paint and play for a few hours four days a week. Again the teacher mentioned the word Autism and I went back into research mode. When Diddles was in playschool I would get home go on the laptop and search and search until I found what I was looking for. I didnt neccesarily know what I was looking for but I knew I would find something. I found the Generation Rescue website again, It led me to other sites closer to home like Autism Ireland and Autism Awareness.





The good that came out of researching on the generation rescue website was that I was clued up on the Gluten free casein free diet. I was ready to start it but my husband was not convinced and I didn't want to push him in to it. The speech therapist suggested we see a clynical psychologist she worked with. We brought Diddles down to him for a consultation and he interviewed us about Diddles. He observed Diddles playing with my mam in a playroom with a two way mirror. We filled out a detailed questionaire on him and at the end of the consultation (not a diagnosis) he said he was going to assess everything we had given him that day and get back to us. He said he already knew from that hour what the feedback would be. When I questioned him he said yes your son is on the Autism spectrum. He might as well have got a knife and stabbed me in the heart. Hearing this from someone other than myself was shocking, even though I knew the outcome I was devastated. However I was delighted that day my Husband heard it from the doctors mouth. I was not insane!!!! 
After we left the doctors office we (me, other half , mam & diddles) got into the car. I was trying to swallow the huge lump in my throat while explaining to my Mam what the Doctor had said. Her initial reaction was to say it will be alright and not to worry we'll all work on him. However that didnt stop the two of us, we were in floods of tears! I didn't want to see or speak to anyone. I just want to lock the hall door with just the four of us, our little family and live life as we knew it. It was only other peoples reactions that got me feeling upset and anxious. Unfortunately to get any entitlements in this country the kids have to have a label. The problem now was getting the label. The cost of a diagnosis privately was insane and we just did not have that kind of money, we just bought a house, I was still on maternity leave, new baby and we were still paying for speech thereapy @ €90 per hour. Our only options was to get on the waiting list to see consultant in Childrens Hospital. Our GP sent off letters of reccomendation to see the paediatrics team for assessments. These were actually letters to chase the appointments as we had been on waiting list since he turned three!!
About six weeks later we received letter from one of the hospitals saying they could see us in June 2010. I was so angry and frustrated!! Thats just about a year and a half on a waiting list to just be seen not even for a diagnosis. I asked my GP was there anything we could do to speed this us and he said this was due to cutbacks the hospitals were not replacing staff if they went on maternity leave etc etc. He said to hold out for the other hospital and see what time frame they gave us. Everntually we got a letter from them saying they could see us in February 2010. This was still frustrating but at least it was closer.
In the mean time we decided to try a few things like the GFCF diet. This was a big challenge still is today. There is not an awful lot of food left if you take away wheat and dairy!! Poor Diddles thought he was being punished god love him! He could have fruit veg and meat and dairy was replaced with rice milk and soya. No more dairy milk buttons or crisps or ready brek  or pizza. We soon realised that if you look hard enough you'll find replacement products for almost everything. I have yet to find decent cheese, but other than that 3 months down the line and he is very happy on the diet. His speech has doubled, I'd even say trebled since we made the change. His eye contact is a hundred times better, His play methods have changed, his attention span is longer. We also put him on threelac vitamin supplements, with the combination of these the diet, playschool, Madman and his nanna doing trojan work with him and speech therapy. Its almost like someone flicked the light switch in his head and he's back to us, we did feel a little bit like we had lost him for a while. He can now say "Apple please" or "chocolate stars" or "love you very this much" "Bedtime night night." I cried the first time he said "lub you" he wasnt very clear but I understood him.These are the simple things at the age of 4 you would expect to come so easily and yet they seemed like his first words to me all over again only extra special.
He is still showing alot of signs of Autism and I know that will not likely leave him easily.
My point is he is such a placid child. Very happy in his own company. We are working on his social skills this is the next battle for us. If he could master this we would be very happy!
We brought him for an interview with the principal of the mainstream school where we live. He walked into the office and sat down. When the principal asked him his name, he couldn't answer, he picked up his keys off his desk and asked "what are these ?" and still did not even acknoweledge him. I asked Diddles to take off his coat and he chanted after me "take off your coat, take off your coat" and he took off his coat. He didn't respond to the principal talking to him. He does that when he dosen't know someone. Then he will warm to them after five minutes or so and he'll begin to make eye contact, he might even go and sit beside them. He spent most of the time in the office babbling and singing to himself. He found 3 poster cylinders behind a book case, each one was about a third of his height. He balanced each one perfectly on top of the another. The principal pointed out his dexterity was excellent. His conclusion on the meeting however was that he didnt think Diddles would benefit from a classroom of thirty other children and one teacher and we should wait until next year to send him to the Austistic unit being built in the new school. This made perfect sense to us. We left the office happy enough with the outcome.
Then a thought crept into my head while walking through the school yard. It was lunch time so there were loads of kids out playing, laughing and chasing each other. The thought that Diddles might not have a normal school life, will he always be in a special needs unit. I know how bright he is but not many others do. I know I'm biased but he is capable of so much. I mean Einstein and Mozart were on the autism spectrum they didn't speak until they were 4 and look at their lives. I'm not saying Diddles is Einstein or anything I just mean its possible that life is not defined by autism!