A spectator sport is a sport that is characterized by the presence of spectators, or watchers at its match. There have been many trips to the bank, post office, supermarket and especially restaurants where other peoples stares have the ability to push you over the edge into crazy town. You literally want to turn around to the audience that has assembled and plead your innocence that you are not a bad parent and he is not a bold child. Granted there are so many people who sympathise and that is due to their personal experiences or awareness campaigns or a friend of a friend who had a child with autism. However there are still so many people who are completely oblivious to the concept of Autism. In particular the older generations, you can hear the tuts and sharp comments like "some parents just can not control their kids these days". These are the people who assume children are lunatics due to parents overdosing them with sugar and allowing their televisions to raise their children. It is not like you can start an Autism awareness meeting in the middle of a queue for the post office. "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
One particular incident I remember is when I had to run into the supermarket to get pullups for Diddles. I was eight months pregnant at the time and Diddles refused point blank to get into a buggy or trolley. He wanted to walk which was ok but I knew I would have to be quick about it. Well.. as quick as one could be when sporting a big baby bump and an autistic toddler in tow! I got to the shopping aisle found the pull ups and waddled to the check out. Diddles then seen a forklift, heard it beeping and screeched like someone had just broken his big toe! He darted away from me to the front of the shop. I ran after him. It felt like forever before I reached him. When I did, he was lying flat on the floor with his hands covering his ears, humming. No eye contact, if I touched him he screeched. At this point everyone in the shop was staring, it seemed like check outs and everyone had stopped. If anyone has ever just wanted the ground to open up and swallow them this was that moment. I could hear one of the older women at a till saying "God love her, she hasn't a clue".
The beeping stopped and Diddles stood up and just carried on as if nothing had happened. I was so embarrassed and had no explanation for why he had just done that. Then as we were leaving, the forklift made another appearance and Diddles fell to the ground again. I tried picking him up but his body went limp. He was a dead weight and I couldn't lift him. It took all my strength but I managed to pick him up. I carried him out to the car without the pull ups. Sat in the driver seat and just cried. "What have I done wrong?" was the only thought going through my mind.At this point Diddles was on a waiting list and had not been diagnosed with Autism. Comments made like that really hit home because you are clueless at the beginning. The word Autism to me then, if someone had of asked me to explain it I do not think I could have desribed it as much more than a disability. At 23 years of age I had never encountered it in my lifetime. Now almost two years later I am still only tipping the iceberg when it comes to Autism. Every child is different so you need to go on your own initiative when it comes to parenting them.
Essentials when I go out with Diddles just incase...
- The IPOD. The single most calming and distracting thing that keeps his attention
- Toy cars/airplanes/trains
- Juice
- Snack
We have come a long way since that particular incident, in that we now know what the problem was. It was a combination of sensory issues and lack of communication skills. Diddles had only a handful of words at that time. His verbal skills and understanding are much improved. We work on them everyday. I live for the day when he starts a conversation with me. I have no doubt in my mind that he will get there.
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