Us parents have super powers ya know!

I have been conjuring up a survival list for us Parents of overly active little darlings. There are a few super powers we have that are essential to survive in Autieland.

#1.  Unlimited energy supply

#2.  The ability to survive a day on an hours sleep. (Thank heavens for caffeine!)

#3.  Psychic ability to understand the non-verbal. 

#4.  Excellent gut instinct - especially in the case of illnesses and causes of meltdowns.

#5.  The ability to think and run at the speed of light - for chasing after your little flash gordon when they dart off in public!

#6.  That fire in your belly that makes you fight for their entitlements, be it for their Education, Therapy, Assessments, Medical help, etc. Take no bull!

#7.  Accepting that not everybody understands the concepts of Autism, some just don't get it!

#8.  Keeping an open mind - ANYTHING is possible, there is more than one way to live in this world!

#9.  Remembering that those who mind DON'T matter and those who matter don't mind! You learn very quickly who your true friends are.

#10.  Knowing that its perfectly ok to have your own meltdowns sometimes!

so there you have it and there is probably a million more where they came from.

You are super and don't you forget it ! x

Keeping the ball rolling..

We have had such a busy few weeks have not had a minute! Diddles profile was chosen by the Autism team in the University of North Carolina for the 5 day Teacch programme to be a little co-trainer. The programme was for various teachers of ASD units all around Ireland to learn methods for teaching children and teenagers with Autism. I was so nervous about his first day on the course. He does not usually react well to a large crowd. I did not know what to expect, maybe it was not his but my fear of the unknown I was nervous about. It was such a good insight  into what kind of schedules suit him. I have blogged before about using visuals for his daily routines and while he was part of the programme I discovered how well he responds to object schedules. I had never even heard of an object schedule before last week! In a few days the teacher had trained him to exchange an object for each part of his daily routine. For example a small hand soap dispenser for needing to go to the toilet, a Thomas the tank engine for play time, a crayon for table top activities, a cup for lunch time, these are but a few of the objects used and in only five days he knew them off by heart.

 It must have been very intensive training because he arrived home asleep on the escorts shoulder one day and he slept like a log for the week! They brought the kids swimming and the teacher told me after that he was a real water baby and would not get out of the pool, they had to swim in after him to get him out. I know he loves the pool but I was still nervous because he had never been to that particular pool. It may be that it is just in our nature to worry as mothers. All I know is I can't help it, I worry a lot about him. He is proving to me time and time again that he can accept change and new adventures and the majority of the time he takes it all in his stride. I think the course was great for him, now his teachers have the tools to teach him the way he needs to be taught.
 It is such a pity that we were told he is too old for that particular unit next year, He really settled in amazingly there. I am applying to a list of ASD units some local some not so local in the hope that where ever he goes they keep the ball rolling. Waiting lists are Irish (therefore not coping with the demand!). From what I have heard most of the issues the schools have in opening or continuing with the ASD units are the inability to obtain the proper services. Cutbacks, cutbacks and more cutbacks. A school place should not be an issue but it is for so many kids like Diddles. I just hope some politicians come knocking on my door soon regurgitating their prepared pitches for the election. Oh what an earful they'll be getting from me! Now is the time he needs stability to help him cope with what life throws at him. Hopefully by the next time I post I'll have better news on the school-front.

Try, try again!

Days out used to be a nightmare with Diddles when he was 3/4, he was like an overgrown very irritated toddler but now that he is 5, it is like something has clicked and he has new interests emerging all the time! We brought him bowling for the second time ever yesterday and he was so focused and absolutely loved that he could be involved in the game. He was so excited and yet still patiently waited for his turn to come around ( and there were 5 other people to take turns). "Patiently" and "waited" are not words I would usually have near a sentence with his name in it! It is great to see an interest that is not computer game related or TV related. He got a real thrill from bowling and even managed a spare or two! 

We also brought the boys to a kids amusement center afterward and he got on the bumper boats with his Dad. After refusing only once and then ten minutes later he realised it was safe and said "I want boats please". This seems to be a pattern with him, he always refuses once then goes to mull over the concept for a while and gives in to his curiosity. So it seems the protest is only fear of the unknown.

On summer holidays last year we realised he was a real water baby! I can not swim. I never learned and I am very ashamed of that fact. Me being a true Piscean and all! I am a wimp but I really am trying to conquer the fear, My brother has been trying to teach me on holidays over the last two years. I always seem to think I'm drowning when my head goes under the water I panic and end up swallowing a litre of chlorine (blech!) I'll never stop trying until I get it! 

But Diddles AMAZED us in the water. I actually could not believe how fearless he was. He put on his little life jacket and either jumped into the pool or carefully walked down the steps (depending on the mood), then he proceeded to swim the whole length and breadth of the pool, a lot of the time in the Deep end. He actually taught himself to swim. Needless to say he slept better on that holiday then he ever has!

  Madman has been really benefiting from all the DIY speech therapy I have been doing at home. He has not stopped yapping, Talk about complete opposites as toddlers! The only time he's quiet is if he knows he is up to no good or stuffing his gorgeous little face. He is the biggest flirt, a regular little Casanova, every female, be it Police woman or cashier in a 10 mile radius gets a really loud "Hiiiiiiiii", a wave and a huge (almost toothily) smile. He is a little character in the making. He even has the most Macho walk I have ever seen on a one year old! MAD but in a great way. The only references to Toddlerdom we have had are those of his Autie brother so this is all new for us! He never fails to make you smile!

Deep in meaningful conversation in a pub! (He's definitely starting early)

Life.Is.Loud!

My little angel is 5 this week and I could not be more proud of him.
He has opened my mind to so much since he came into this world.
I never pictured my baby's ability to teach me before I became a mother.
I hurled myself into the role of Motherhood without thinking really and now that I am here, I actually feel very humble to be his parent. I could spend my days wallowing in the fact that Autism can run our house from time to time each day but what would be the point in that? I have decided that I am going to give it my best shot.I figure he is my blank canvas and I have to pay attention to every detail to help him express himself.

I wish everyday that others could understand him the way I do. He is funny, caring, playful, clever and very happy. However other people only see the Autism that clouds his brilliant personality underneath it all.

Since everyone has heard he has been diagnosed with Autism, people tend to speak to him like he has hearing problems. Why is it so hard to understand that if someone is not looking into your eyes or responding to you immediately that they are not deaf?! They do not need you to speak slowly or enunciate every syllable, maybe there is so much going on in the room that they can not focus on a human voice. They are hearing the hum of the fridge or the lights are too bright or there is a dog barking, the TV is on or a phone ringing. If you really allow yourself to think of how life feels for them, Life is Loud! That said that does not mean you have to avoid talking to them all together, it is not that they do not want to talk to you, it is that they don't have the communication skills or social skills to initiate a chat with you.

 He has moments of clarity that absolutely amaze me, I have learned to appreciate every word, every glance, every kiss, every hug. It is a huge effort on our part as parents to help them be the best that they can be. I could not count the amount of times a day that I would think of how to make things easier for him, taking notes of things I should have a visual aid made for or a game that could help him comprehend how to share with his brother or how to make dressing himself easier and fun. It is all worth it when you get one of those moments of clarity, it can happen anytime.
We were practising his dressing routine one night before bed and he said to me "Mammy I want to dance, let's go!", That sentence was his first of that length and it was just so amazing to hear. I mean you really work on them and will them to speak and live for that first real conversation. The last few months he has had some emerging spontaneous speech and it really does leave you thirsty for more. Those moments are addictive, it is like a drug, you are getting your fix of happiness. There is real meaning in his words, it is not an echo from his favourite TV programme, or singing over you when you speak, it is real talking and eye contact. These days give you the strength to push through the bad days. We were sitting in the car park in a local retail outlet and he was staring out the window when all of a sudden he started to spell the names of the shops. "H E A T O N S" " H A R R Y  C O R R Y", now he didn't pronounce the words but he got each letter right. I swear these are the moments you wish there was a psychologist in the car so you can say see I told you he can do it. He has never done this in front of any of the early intervention team or teachers etc. Probably because the places you go to get these assessments carried out are so unfamiliar and the kids spend their time getting used to their surroundings as opposed to actually showing their true potential. Diddles has come such a long way since he turned 4, In a year it is unbelievable. Now if I could just get the services to harness it we would be flying! Until then we'll keep working on him.

Happy Birthday Diddles "Lub you very this much" xxxxxxxx




(pics courtesy of google images)

Getting to know me .... hmmmm

Ok so the theme for this weeks Blog Gems @Jen's The King and Eye is getting to know each other a little better and seen as I am still a newbie at this I have not written a post about me. So here goes.....

1. I have been sarcastic since around the age of 10. I am not sure exactly when it happened but I can not seem to help myself. I have a bit of a goofy quirky sense of humor, a bit of a comedy nerd really. Favorite nights out lately (when they happen) would be to a good stand up comedy gig in Dublin. I love to laugh! But who doesn't?

2. I am my own worst enemy as I analyse eeeeeeverything. I over think things until they have lost all meaning.

3. I come from a single parent family. I had a great childhood Just me, my Brother and my Mam. I have a big extended family but I have always wanted a big family (2 kids at 24. lol I am half way there!)

4. I worked as a Bar person for 6 years, through school and college. I loved it, always something happening and new people to meet, great craic. I also met my Husband  in that job and now both of us have left the bar trade 8 years ago. Although It still only seems like yesterday.

5. I am so quiet when I first meet someone and I eventually come out of my shell. I am the worst person ever for public speaking, it is probably one of my worst fears! I think it comes from the early years of school and the teacher makes you stand up and write your 12 times tables on the blackboard and you can never remember the last few. Probably because you were more interested in writing in your "secret diary" at that age ha.

6. I have had a slight obsession with all things Spanish since first year in secondary school and it is probably the only interest I have ever kept going. Everything else just seems to fall by the wayside. Over the years I have tried my hand at Tennis, basketball, salsa dancing, singing and non of these ever lasted. Although I am still very fond of all of them, there always seems to be a pin in them to come back to later.

7. I have an ambition to travel the world and I intend to keep this one. We have had to postpone it as it has been a very eventful 8 years. I had Diddles, we saved for our house, we got married, we bought our house, I had madman and then Diddles was diagnosed with Autism so here we are. Maybe when I hit the big 40. Which gives me about 15 years lol.


Fingers crossed all going well :)

Echoboy.....

One of the symptoms of Autism that I find fascinating and yet sometimes as a parent can grate on your last nerve is Echolalia.

For a child that is considered "Non-verbal" Diddles does an amazing amount of talking. For those of you who are not familiar with the concept of Echolalia there are two types. Immediate Echolalia (also known as parroting, repeating the exact words or sound directly after hearing it) and delayed Echolalia (repeating a word or sound an hour,a day, a week after hearing it). It is not just a symptom of Autism, it can also relate to tourette's syndrome etc. etc. Immediate Echo is for example me saying "Would you like Juice?" and his answer to me would be "Would you like Juice?".  Diddles does both Immediate and delayed, which is pretty common with kids with an ASD apparently. It is the delayed "Echo" that amazes me as he can repeat an entire script from a TV advert or TV show at perfect pitch and sometimes in the exact accent he hears. It can also remind you of a broken record at times as it is repeated SO often!

The first incident with it that sticks out in my mind was when Diddles was about 2 and he was sitting in the trolley while we were doing our weekly food shopping. We were half way through the supermarket and the queue's were long, people everywhere. All of a sudden we heard this little voice shouting "HELP!", we were looking around to see where it was coming from when we realised everyone was staring at us because it was Diddles. Bare in mind that he had never said more than "Mama" or "Dadda" before this. He was shouting HELP! as if he was being dragged away by 8 foot monsters. Barry and I looked at each other both flushed with big red faces, shrugged and laughed it off awkwardly. "Oh he's just playing he he," I remember sheepishly saying to fellow shoppers who were actually starting to look concerned. Yes we kidnapped this child and brought him .... you guessed it FOOD SHOPPING! I think not! We could not just abandon our shopping so we had to endure the "HEEEELP!" shouting even in the queue. We realised when we got home that he had been repeating a line out of the pixar movie Cars.

He also used to walk around in public echoing the advert for Subway in a very angry french accent, you might remember it. It went something like this .... "Whats the matter? Too Hot? Too Spicy?" "HOT! HOT!" Now can you imagine people walking by and Diddles (a 3 year old half pint with blonde curly hair) re-enacting a role played by a giant jalepeno pepper?? 

He has repeated entire episodes of Thomas the tank engine while playing with his trains. One time at the perfect moment he said "Well bust my buffers You're right James" to a man who asked him was he four years old. Then he turned on his heels and ran into the house. His timing is what makes you giggle!

His current favourite is saying "Bless you" at the weirdest most random moments. He picked it up from a kids TV show when all the characters sneeze and they say bless you. The great part is that if he uses the language enough he begins to put it in context and builds it into his vocabulary. Now if I sneeze he says "Oh bless you Mammy". He might not tell you his name when you ask him but at least he's polite when you sneeze! :)

Bye Bye 2010

I have decided not to do a Christmas post as it has not been a particularly great Christmas. It has been ok, don't get me wrong! I mean nothing terrible happened. It's just Everyone in the house has a chest infection, therefore Christmas has been spent in coughing fit surround sound. We did manage to have a really lovely Christmas dinner at the parentals house. We did not get to see the rest of the family because EVERYONE is sick! So it has been a strange Christmas to say the least.

I do want to say goodbye and good riddens to 2010. I have spent the majority of this year trying to wade through our waiting lists here in Ireland. Whether it be for schools, assessment of need with the hospitals, DCA, Carers allowance, or just waiting to see what the hell the next step is for my brilliant little boy. I said goodbye to my job and became a stay at home mam /Carer/Domicile Administrator/ Desperate Housewife whatever you would like to call it. I never imagined this was the end of my career at 24. Maybe it's not, who knows? I hope not. I think I have a lot to give and right now I know my little man needs me more than any employer and that is why, in this job scarce climate I took the leap. I had many doubts when I left. Aside from the significant reduction to our household income, This was the first time I faced Autism head on 24 hours a day. It is a scary place to find yourself for the first time. I think only mothers of autistic children can totally relate, it is not easy to describe the ups and downs you experience.
 Christmas Eve we finally received the psychologists assessment report that I have been fighting for. This report allows us to apply to the ASD specific units which is the first step in the right direction (so I've been told). We still have to wait 8-10 months on services. So to date no speech therapy or occupational therapy for Diddles. I am attempting to study it myself and putting it all into practice is difficult but has been successful!

This year has not been ALL bad, Madman had all his firsts.It has been So brilliant seeing him hit all the milestones. Crawling,First teeth, First steps, first words, first DIVE OFF THE KITCHEN TABLE! (''.)
Diddles taught himself to swim. It has been our first year in our house and we do love where we are now.

Which brings me to my new years resolutions........

I usually would say no resolutions but this year I feel the need to make a small few .....

#1 Get diddles therapies & school in place for 2011

#2 Get organised.

#3 Make time for me. 

#4 Bring boys swimming more often.

Have you guys any resolutions for 2011?

Happy new year! I hope it is a better year to all of us! xxxxxxxxxxx